IBM blogs about Twitter...

An IBM employee proclaims 2007 as the year of the "breaking out of Twitter".

"If you haven't used Twitter...then you missed one of the biggies of 2007."

Here's the article LINK.

I bet most of you DID miss out.

Shame on you.

One of your New Year's resolutions should be to start using Twitter.

Feel free to add me as a friend....


Also, I'll be in the Dominican Republic for the next week, so the rest of the Villagers will be blogging about life, the internet.com, and general stupidity in my place.

Why Rock Band has paved the way for Turntable Hero (DJ Hero? Hip-Hop Hero?)

When I googled "Turntable Hero" and "DJ Hero", the only article that seemed relevant was this article from a blog on MTV.com.

The main issue with "Turntable Hero" was the on-screen lyrics. Apparently, people are self-conscious of singing in front of others.

First, here's an article from WikiHow on how to get over being self-conscious.

Second, as the owner of Rock Band, I have seen several of my friends get on the mic and belt out some terrible versions of Bon Jovi's "Dead or Alive" and other assorted songs. And there's no shame in that.

Third, Turntable Hero (ok, maybe Hip-Hop Hero is better) wouldn't focus on the rapping, just like Rock Band doesn't focus on the singing. That is only one part of the fun in Rock Band. Turntable Hero would be about two turntables (and a microphone?)...scratching it out and laying down some phat fat beats.

Then, you can throw in the rapping. And maybe even dancing? Maybe that would be too much like Dance Dance Revolution. Maybe instead Break Dancing (Revolution) integrated into Hip-Hop Hero?

Maybe the kit should come with two sets of turntables from the beginning. DJ battles as well as rap battles. I can see people getting shot because of these ideas....

Back to the point about people being afraid to sing. Karaoke anyone? Plenty of people do karaoke and love it. With karoake, most of the time the motivator is booze (and/or boozed up friends). So, Hip-Hop Hero just has to market itself as a game to get crunk drunk and have scratch/rap offs with your friends.

Everyone wins.

As a totally non-scientific test to prove that video game singing technology is pretty good, I threw in Rock Band and started a career on Expert. I will say I am average to slightly above average at carrying a tune. I played enough piano that I should be semi-decent (10 years). I am in no way an American Idol.

That being said, I attempted to sing three songs. I knew the first two, but wasn't very familiar with the third. Here are the results:

• "Say It Ain't So" - 3 1/2 stars - 85% notes hit - 2 phrase streak - 41,630
  
• "In Bloom" - 3 1/2 stars - 78% notes hit - 3 phrase streak - 61,690
  
• "Paranoid" (Black Sabbath) - 31% complete - booed off stage twice

It is somewhat of a challenge to do well at the hardest level. So, for those who want a challenge, it is there (Hard and Expert difficulty). For those who just want to rock out, that is also available (Easy and Medium difficulty).


Thanks to Rock Band, people have become comfortable with the singing aspect of video games. Rapping is just another form of vocalization. Now that we've gotten over that fear, there are fewer barriers to entry for Hip-Hop Hero and an even bigger market. Come on Harmonix, let's make this happen....

100 Facts About...

...Electronic Vagrant

If you haven't seen the 100 Facts About website, created by the folks over at brainfuel.tv, go check it out.

I will highlight a few facts about Electronic Vagrant that you might NOT know, and you can follow the link above for the rest:

• Electronic Vagrant can watch a season of "24" in just three hours.
  
• You are what you eat. That is why Electronic Vagrant's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
  
• If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Electronic Vagrant says its beef, then it's beef.

I would recommend comparing your list with my hero Ed Hochuli and the list of 50 True Facts about that courageous man. Even with 50 less facts, I bet he still wins....

V-Necks and Half Turtlenecks? Formal wear?

I don't understand why V-necks shirts are considered to be dressier than a regular shirt. Why does the V make it more stylish? Would a square instead of a V also be dressier than the standard circle/oval?

Also, the half turtleneck...what's with that? Most of the time, it isn't even on a sweater. It is a long sleeve T-shirt with a half turtleneck. And these types of shirts are worn under suit/sports jackets. That, I truly don't understand.

I'm sure this argument can be made against any type of shirt. Why is a shirt with a collar considered dressy? Personally, I think collared shirts look better than non-collared shirts.

I'm not saying I don't own more t-shirts than I should (my drawers are overflowing with them) or that I don't follow t-shirt blogs (I love shirt.woot.com).

So, call me plain or conservative in my fashion sense, but V-necks and half turtlenecks just don't make any sense to me. Am I wrong?

ManBird Flight School

Looking for a last minute Christmas/Kwanzaa/belated Festival of Lights gift?
Look no further than the ManBird Flight School.

Held at Bull Run Park in lovely Centreville, VA, ManBird Flight School promises to keep it "Low & Slow" while you learn to fly.

You will be given a safety helmet (bright red or yellow), harness, and careful instruction by Mr. Manbird (see the license plate).

It doesn't look like the guy on the left is going low and slow. But, I guess I should just trust that he has mastered the beginner or maybe even intermediate ManBird Flight skills.

I really didn't even know that ManBird Flight School was even possible or existed until driving down the road the other day and seeing Mr. Manbird's trailer and mid-90's Isuzu Rodeo. (Special shout out to my future wife for helping me capture the pictures in this post.)

I couldn't find a website for ManBird Flight School, but for more information, e-mail WriteTheDoctor at msn dot com or call (703) 994-1320.


DISCLAIMER: I am in no way affiliated with Mr. Manbird or his school. I just think it is comical and wanted to let the world know of the opportunity to learn how to fly.

Would you like to buy a G-O-P??

The 2008 presidential campaign really is bringing out the stars. Oprah is out stumping for Barack Obama, and Chuck "I don't throw up, I throw down" Norris is kicking communist ass for Mike Huckabee.



What I didn't know is that in addition to being an incredible speller (my preferred major in college when I was 6), Pat Sajak is also a conservative blogger! He hasn't spent any time stumping for a candidate because he's been spending a lot of time trying to figure out global warming.

In his latest column, he poses 10 questions "to which I have been unable to find definitive answers." Now I'm not an expert at global warming or spelling, but I do suggest that Pat takes his own advice from his previous column which describes how the average joe shouldn't look to celebrities for political advice. For that matter, why would he listen to me?

New Jersey Bans Death Penalty

Today, New Jersey Gov. Jon Corzine signed a bill that will abolish the death penalty in New Jersey. The state has not actually enforced the law since 1963 but it still marks the first time in nearly thirty-years that a state has banned the death penalty.

Gov. Corzine sited the governments lack of a "fool-proof death penalty that precludes the possibility of executing the innocent," as one reason for signing the bill into law. He also poses a philosophical question that "society must ask, is it not morally superior to imprison 100 people for life than it is to execute all 100 when it's probable we execute an innocent."

The death penalty is still legal in thirty-seven states despite objections of its fallibility or its intended purpose that it deters major crimes and that it is cruel and unusual punishment. Critics also argue that it is more costly to run the death penalty system than it is to lock the individual up for life (see death penalty fact sheet)

Supporters of the death penalty allege that it deters crime and may prevent recidivism along with being an appropriate form of punishment for the heinous crime committed.

While trolling the blogs today, I encountered two common responses puzzle me regarding the Governor's signing of the bill.

In summary here is what they say:

"Congrats New Jersey! You have just joined civilization!". This comment was followed by "wait till someone you love is taken from you, then you'll wish you had the death penalty".

My response to the first phrase brings up the classic Abortion/Death Penalty conundrum. I'd be curious to see how many people that joined the "welcome to civilization" bandwagon are pro-choice. If so, I find your comments full of irony and I'll leave it at that.

Finally, while I understand the argument about feeling differently if your son/daughter etc etc was taken from you at the hands of another, I think that logic should be applied at the opposite end of the spectrum: what if your son/daughter was unjustly put on death row?

Honesty in an error page...

At least this site, www.profilactic.com, tells you like it is. Most other websites blame themselves for errors on their sites, but this one says what all the others want to say:


If you can't read the text:

"If you're seeing this page, then something went wrong. Most likely, it is totally your fault, so don't bother mentioning it to us. We only like to hear good news.

On the outside chance that it isn't your fault and the site is actually screwed up right now, we will fix it as soon as we can. Sorry for the inconvenience."

Doctors would never make it in the business world...

On Wednesday, I had a Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty. This means I had my tonsils removed and my uvula reshaped.

The procedure was easy enough. Because I have been wearing a CPAP (used to treat sleep apnea), the surgery was a very simple procedure. It was an out patient surgery that really only took about an hour.

Fast forward to this morning.

I had been eating my applesauce, soup, jello, and ice cream without any issues. In fact, this morning at 6 AM, I got up and ate my applesauce with crushed up drugs without problems. Then about 7:30 AM, I woke up with mouthfuls of blood. I know, pretty gross.

My future wife was kind enough to drive me to an INOVA Access center. To make a long story short, the whole experience was terrible. We waited a while in the reception area (immediately before walking in to the waiting room, I spit out a mouthful of blood). The "customer service" aspect from the receptionist to the "emergency" doctor was very negative. There was only one nurse who seemed like she cared.

In their defense, both of us were somewhat hostile, mainly due to the fact that they didn't seem to be too concerned with me spitting blood into their mini bed pans.

After talking to my ENT, the "emergency" doctor didn't feel comfortable performing some procedure, so they made us drive to the regular hospital. After waiting around for an hour and a half, we finally saw a frustrated ENT. I felt bad for the ENT, because it wasn't her fault we waited so long and she lacked the information and tools to complete her examination in a timely fashion.

My thought throughout this entire process?

Other than being bummed out about having to fork over TWO $100 copays, it is a good thing doctors aren't in the business world. This sort of inefficiency would never be tolerated and put the doctor out of business. Grey's Anatomy is totally fake and the real world of medicine is not a well oiled (Wal-Mart like) supply chain.

My advice to anyone living in the Fairfax County, VA area? Unless you are dying, don't go to the INOVA Access center on Chain Bridge Road. Even if you are dying, if you can make it to the hospital ER, try to hang on just to avoid Dr. Hermes.

I also find it ironic that the whole procedure to get my tonsils removed (approx. 4 hours) took about as long as this morning's debacle.

I'll survive. But, spitting up all that blood this morning did kinda freak me out.
I will leave you with a snippet of what my bathroom sink looked like after I got back from the hospital this afternoon.

Delusional Notre Dame Fans

Stupid is as Stupid Reads

Guess which screen shot is of CNN's U.S. Edition and which is their International Edition.

Exhibit A:



Exhibit B:


If you picked Exhibit A as the CNN international Edition you are correct. If you picked Exhibit A as the CNN U.S. Edition, well, you've probably spent too much reading CNN U.S. Edition. And become retarded.

Big Ern's Totally Scientific Breakdown:
U.S. Page: 29 items, 22 of which are sensational, prurient, or otherwise dumb. The number is that low only becuase I get excited for I am Legend, and iPod Accessories. I also gave the benefit of doubt to the Time quotes, and the CNN Wire, yielding a domestic mongoloid index of 0.76.

International Page: 22 items, only 10 of which stink. International mongoloid index: 0.45.

Popular U.S. News Topics: Steroids, dog fighting, murder, promiscuity, and the antics of primates. (Technically, all of these could be filed under the antics of primates.)

Popular International News Topics: Global warming, international diplomacy, terrorism, and cloned cats (apparently these are a hit everywhere).

The Moral Lesson Herein:
Live in the U.S and want to become famous? Shoot up a dog with steroids then make it fight a gorilla. Consider copulating with the winner and killing the loser.

Live elsewhere and want to become famous? Speak up on global warming or broker a peace between contentious parties. Or make glowing cat clones.

Maybe folks are dumb all over.

Incredibly Involved Reviews of Bic Ballpoints

Every so often the dark fecund morass that is the internet flings forth one of these strange, beautiful flowers: 23 people have posted reviews, some of them incredibly detailed, of the plain bic ballpoint pen.

I just couldn't contain my excitement and went around finding things to write on, like the shopping list on the notice board in our kitchen, the Post-it notes next to the phone, and on my favourite lined A4 pad at the side of my desk.

Link

Quick Reference Guide?

On the flight back last Thursday, I sat in the front row of a smaller plane. From my vantage point, I could see into the cockpit as the pilot and co-pilot were doing their pre-gaming pre-flight procedures.

What caught my attention was the red binder that is partially covered by one of the pilot's arm. That red book was about 4 inches thick and had the words "Quick Reference Guide" on the cover.

It was easily accessible, so it led me to believe that in times of an emergency, the pilots might grab it for help. Is something that large really going to help when a plane is going down? What inch of documentation might have the answer?

Look in the table of contents, you might say. I would bet for a book that is 4 inches thick, the table of contents is at least one quarter of an inch. So, then the pilots waste all their time looking through the table of contents.

So, my point is, don't try to convince me that in the event of an emergency "the bag will not inflate but oxygen is flowing to the mask". We all know everyone is getting high on oxygen while the pilots laugh about how useless thick their "cheat sheet" is. That's probably the first thing they throw out the window as the plane is going down....

Big Ern's "Angry Disbelief at Not Making the Fantasy Football Playoffs" Locks of the Week

Less political snark, more correct picks...

• Giants +3 at Eagles
• Texans +3 vs. Bucs
• Patriots -10.5 vs. Steelers

Last week: 0-3
This year: 17-14-4

December is National iPod Month

As a person who celebrates Christmas not just for Santa Claus, I appreciate the reason for the season (Kwanzaa?). Therefore I DO appreciate Christmas music, but NOT starting in November. For me, even early December is a bit much.

I'd like a week of Christmas music. That gives me 7 days to get me prepped for family time, lots of eating, and presents. Honestly, I like Christmas for the sweet potatoes and any presents are an added bonus.

So, all that being said, I declare that December is officially:

National iPod Month

That way, instead of listening to 5 to 6 weeks of Christmas music on the radio, around the malls, public lobbies, and the like....you can listen to your ipod and not be maxxed out on Christmas music by December 12th.

Yes, I am implying you hook up your ipod to your car stereo, listen to it while shopping for presents or pretty much anything else you do.
I realize not listening to Christmas music while shopping for presents seems like the wrong idea, but one afternoon of hearing Jingle Bells six times at the mall may send you over the edge.

I've almost lost it a few times thanks to the Christmas music I hear weekday mornings at the hotel.

So, keep yourself from succumbing to "I want to deck the halls with my face" syndrome or "Dashing through the snow into oncoming traffic" disease by keeping those earbuds in and connected to that sweet, sweet music player made by Apple.


(Yes, I have become an Apple fanboy. And no, I will not call it National MP3 Player Month. The iPod dominates the market and the Micro$oft Zune sucks.)

Got Osama?

The creator of one of my favorite shows, 30 Days, just sold the rights to his latest movie Where in the world is Osama bin Laden?

Now I find it hard to believe that a pasty white guy from West Virginia and his camera toting crew found the world's most wanted man, but this is one shameless promotion that I'm curious about. We will probably all have to wait until the Sundance Film Festival to find out, as everyone who has seen the movie has signed a non-disclosure agreement, and the film was quickly snapped up by a prominent film studio for a cool $25 million. By the way, the studio only saw 15 minutes of the film before they paid all that money.

A few other blogs have made some good points though. If you found Osama, interviewed him, spent time putting together a film, and then sold it for $25 million to finance your future film-making, wouldn't it have been a smarter idea to just collect the reward?

Vista runs the fastest on a MacBook Pro?

Apparently, PC World tested laptop computers to see which one runs fastest with Microsoft's Windows Vista. Link

The notebook that won?

The MacBook Pro.

Personally, I'm a big fan of OS X. I am marrying a MacBook Pro owner. Let's be honest, her stock shot way up when she bought it.

But, even if you aren't a fan of Macs, you have to think the commercials are clever.
Check out the latest commercial in response to the PC World tests:



Link to the original video on the Apple website: Misprint

Second Life Business Idea: Prostitution

Personally, I do not participate in Second Life. But, I have talked about it in this blog before. As Dwight Schrute said:

I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then, my life was so great I literally wanted a second one. Absolutely everything was the same... except I could fly.

Second Life recently outlawed gambling in their virtual world. But, prostitution is still around. In fact, there is apparently quite a bit of it. Check out this four and half minute video if you want the inside scoop on the sex trade.



So, that being said, if you are looking for some extra cash, why not become a Second Life prostitute?

As one astute commenter put it:

Money or not being exchanged, no real life sexual intercourse happens in Second Life.

So, you can charge a bunch of Linden Dollars to get it on with sickos (read: middle aged men) in Second Life. After the exchange rate of 250 Linden Dollars (approx.) to the US Dollar, this might be a solid business (especially with the US Dollar falling so much recently).

Reasons why you might NOT want to do this:

• You probably have to say some weird sick twisted stuff to please your clients
  
• You join the rest of the losers on Second Life
  
• There is child and animal prostitution on Second Life and getting into that probably wouldn't be good for your REAL life if anyone found out
  
• It might warp you for life
  

But, other than those highly compelling reasons not to enter the sex trade in Second Life, you might want to think about your business plan.

Maybe you should enter a niche market.

Perhaps you aren't comfortable having a human looking avatar and virtualizing sex. Maybe your avatar could be a blue triangle. I bet you could charge higher prices because it is doubtful there are many blue triangles offering sex in Second Life.

I've been wrong before.

If you get famous enough and are arrested (does that happen in Second Life?), you might even make the CNN I-report. Think Wolf Blitzer, but in a virtual world (who names their kid Wolf anyway?).

Well, that's about as far as I will go into this brilliant idea. If anyone decides to follow this plan, you owe me 20% of your revenue.

Although, it is said investing in Second Life is a Pyramid Scheme, I think someone could really make some dough on the side.

For more information on the constantly changing environment of Second Life, check out secondlifeinsider.com.

Big Ern's "If They Were Musk, They'd Be High Karate" Locks of the Week

If Giuliani followed Locks of the Week, he'd be able to afford a real dog walker. Better luck next time.

This week's picks (we'll jump back on the New England train next week):

• Cleveland (-1) at Arizona


• Chicago (+2) over New York


• Houston (+4) at Tennessee

Last week: 2-1
This year: 17-11-4

The Mustachio Bashio and the End of Movember

Movember +1

Last night my Movember team celebrated a month of successful moustache growing at the NYC Movember Gala Party, which was essentially a bizarre costume-cocktail party MC’ed by ... Randy Jones, also known as the cowboy from the Village People.

Racing to drink themselves unconscious were hundreds of newly moustachio’d men and their supporters. These whiskered faces hid normal, clean-cut guys who have nothing to do with the porn industry, and whose only folly was to band together for the sake of men’s health.

While some ‘staches were true pieces of art - well-preened and beautifully sculptured creations that Michelangelo himself would be proud to have chiseled – most looked quite horrible.

It can’t be denied that the moustache instills new confidence in its wearer. So I’m sure there are many who, at this moment, are saying to themselves, “This bad boy doesn’t look too bad. Maybe I’ll keep it til Christmas.” Fortunately, I do not count myself among their delusional ranks. I have a date with my Gillette Mach III.

Many thanks to all who donated.

-Mike

Maybe Judge Judy Will Tell Him How to Get His Kids Back, Too?

I think this captures (as the Onion so often does) several problems and rolls them into a delicious nougaty ball of snark:

Uninsured Man Hopes His Symptoms Diagnosed This Week On House

Airline depature times are a lie....

In the past few weeks, I've noticed a trend at airports.
When the gate folks talk about the timing of flight that is leaving, they refer to the departure time and the "wheels up time".

I understand the difference. Obviously, the departure time is when the plane pushes away from the gate and the wheels up time is when it actually takes off.

What I don't understand is why difference between the two times can be so great. And not just when you get on the plane, it leaves the gate and then you find out you'll be sitting on the runway for one reason or another.

I'm talking about when (this actually occurred at the Dayton, OH airport earlier tonight) at 6 PM, they announce the incoming flight is delayed, so the outgoing flight will be delayed from 7 something to 8:05, but the wheels up time isn't until around 9:30.

Being in the business of transportation/supply chain, I might think it is great that they can forecast both the departure and the wheels up times even though they differ by a large amount.

One the other hand, it is terrible that they know these things and yet can't make the process more efficient.

By the way, departure, as defined by thefreedictionary.com:
1. The act of leaving.
2. A starting out, as on a trip or a new course of action.

The airline definition is more like, "the act of hurrying up to wait to leave"...

Perhaps "wheels up time" should be, "departure time plus a time that delayed your departure by more than you would like"...

On a positive note, my plane just arrived, so we might actually leave close to on time.

"We're uncomfortable with being uncomfortable."

Three out of the four of us live in the DC area (although only ACOM is a true Redskins fan), so this topic came up due to Sean Taylor's recent tragic death.
I will post the conversation we had over e-mail.

I am saddened by Sean Taylor's death and state numerous times below that he may be a bad example for the real topic - thoughts on talking about the deceased.

Also, please read this article by Michael Wilbon for a more complete perspective and story about Sean Taylor. It came out earlier today, a day after I started the conversation below (thanks to Electronic Vagrant for article link). Here goes (warning, it is long)...

Elroy:

In one of the articles about Sean Taylor's recent death, his lawyer is quoted as saying this is a loss of a wonderful person. I'm paraphrasing, but the statement basically says he is a great guy. Ironic his "lawyer" is the one saying it.

I'm not saying that I disliked Sean Taylor or that I'm not sorry he died, but when are we going to call it like it is about dead people?

When I die, I expect people to say something like, he was a decent person, a huge nerd, and a good father/husband (I hope to fulfill that last one). If I turn into a jerk, I want people to say, he was a jerk, but he was good a being a nerd. Or other such general truths...

The article quotes the lawyer, but then goes on to talk about how Sean Taylor clearly had an anger problem which resulted in arrests and monetary penalties (see EV's comment about spitting in people's faces). I realize the liberal media is writing the article, so the obvious contradiction should be expected. I'm not saying nice or smart people don't make stupid mistakes, but not everyone is a great person during their lives and they definitely don't turn into one as soon as they die.

I'm not saying he wasn't a good football player or he doesn't deserve to be mourned, but I would appreciate a little more truth.

In reality, Sean Taylor may be a bad example for my point and I apologize if I am crucifying a good person who made some more obvious public mistakes.

Zach:

My two thoughts on the matter:

In his defense: His only 2 brushes with the law were a DUI for which his was acquitted (admittedly he was rich, and rich people do get off on things like this) and for (I think) having/brandishing a pistol then giving someone who stole several ATV's from him the beat down. Also, I think the lawyer is a friend of the family/spokesman type who knew Taylor growing up, not just an advocate during legal matters. So we maybe shouldn't discount what he says as much as if it were Johnny Cochran or Scott Boras.

In his not-defense:
What if this had gone the other way? What if Taylor got the drop on this guy, and split his head open with the machete? With his rep (deserved or otherwise) he'd be in questioning right now and we'd all be sure he was guilty as hell.

Elroy:

The obvious contradiction is having this quote about how wonderful of a person he is and then talking about his arrests. Why is it necessary to say he is great then talk about his arrest record?

Talk about how he is great, the incident, the family, and his death. Or talk about the incident, the family, his death, and his arrest record.

Your other points are noted. I'm not saying he is a bad guy. He may be a bad example for my point, but I think in general people are great as soon as they die. That is not the case. Terrible people die also.

ACOM:

I agree in principal to what you said, Taylor might not been as 'great' as his lawyer made him out to be....but then again what was his lawyer supposed to say: "My client went to THE U. Nuf said. He probably hung out with the wrong crowd and unfortunately got what was coming to him?" Maybe terrible people just don't deserve anything said about them.

Zach:

I don't think we'll ever know if he was a bad guy. I'm not even sure which is more important in the issue: whether the sum of his actions over his life are a net positive or negative, or the kind of guy he was trying to be shortly before and up to the time he died.

From all accounts (taken with a grain of salt b/c they are friends and family) he had been a changed man since having a kid ~18 months ago.

I'm sure we'll hear a all about it over the next few weeks. I guess the two knee-jerk reactions are to go with either "speak not ill of the dead" or "he was a thug whose actions finally caught up to him". The truth is probably somewhere in between.

Electronic Vagrant:

This one is tough. I guess I feel both ways about it. I'm sure he was a prick at times. I imagine all players from the U to be complete thuggish assholes, although the Rock must have been converted by the blessed fists of Chuck Norris because he's one ass kicking machine (have you seen The Rundown??). Nevertheless, I think its in our nature to remember the good times, so even though he spit in Michael Pittman's face (a notorious wife beater himself), we'll listen to his teammates and lawyer sing his praises.

I've done my share of stupid things, but I hope they don't end up defining me as a person. Leave that to the donuts and cereal.

Zach:

I heard a great comment from a caller on the radio this morning: "We're uncomfortable with being uncomfortable." So we have to make him a sainted martyr or a punk who got what was coming to him, instead of internalizing the unpleasant truth that yet another complex irreplaceable person was shot to death for (as yet) inscrutable reasons.

All Your Data Are Belong to Us

With the Google Drive just around the corner, and 5 GB (and counting) of storage space available for your google/gmail account, I had a horridly wonderful thought this morning:

"Wait a minute, I have 5 gmail accounts (mostly for failed yet-to-succeed business ventures). That's 25GB (and counting). What if I had 500?"

It would be unweildy without a piece of middleware to manage log-ins, passwords, and bin-packing, but none of these should be terribly difficult to address.

For a goober with 1TB (again, and counting) of DVD-rips, ahem, back-ups, this seems like a great alternative to purchasing and maintaining an array of up-to-date back-up drives at home. (Or weeping inconsolably after losing all your episodes of My So-Called Life).

Nate, this sounds like a job for Greasemonkey, correct?

A MANDATE FOR TIES, COATS AND POPPED-COLLARS

I nearly cried myself to sleep from laughing so hard at this article. I will keep my comments to a minimum because I do not want to offend any spouse's brother.

I will admit that I find this article humorous probably because I do not understand and have never experienced the environment that the author describes. I will say that I would settle for an orange shirt any day over that bow tie he is wearing in the picture.

Big Ern's "Increasingly Sporadic" Locks of the Week

2 of these 3 have to cover.

This week's picks:

• Dolpins (+16) at Steelers
• Eagles (+25) at Patriots
• Bills (+9.5) at Jaguars

Last week: 0-2-1
This year: 15-10-4

Note: the following teams have been banned from locks of the week in any capacity: Detroit Lions and Denver Broncos. More to come...

Even rich people do stupid things

I happened upon this article today, and since I sometimes throw out bad investment advice, why stop now?

The "20 Worst Venture Capital Investments of All Time" are covered, and there are some catastrophically bad ideas that people smarter than I threw millions of dollars at. I did a quick sampling, and some of these websites don't even exist anymore. Makes me think that Elroy really should start http://www.iamatwitterexpertandiwillhelpyouwithallyourtwitterneeds.com. I'm sure he could get some sucker to fork over $20 million for that...

Money, 'Stache, Hoes

Movember the 22nd

Three weeks without a decent shave have left me on the wrong side of sleazy. And so, befitting of a man that looks as if he belongs at a greyhound track, I offer up the following gambling propositions. Perhaps some of them can be addressed by Zach's locks of the week.

Odds of successfully making a new female acquaintance this month - 10:1

Odds of the moustache adversely affecting my year-end review (scheduled for next Wednesday) - 2:1

Over-under on the number of drinks my grandfather will have at Thanksgiving before feeling free to tell me I look like an asshole - 6

Over-under on the number of times I hear the phrase, "That looks disgusting" between now and the end of the month - 12


All praise be to Gamblore.

-Mike

Turn yourself into an elf for the holidays...

Perhaps you wanted to put your face on an elf and send it to the relatives you won't be seeing over the Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays?

Great, I've got just the website for you.

ElfYourself.com

Brought to you by your friends at OfficeMax, you can create "cute" little elves that dance.

You can even add voice (which I didn't do) and send a special message.

Check out the villagers dance: The Villagers as Elves

If you make one, send us yours...we can laugh at you.

(image courtesy of the elfyourself.com site)

Twitter Poster and User Groups...

Just so all of you readers are educated a bit more on Twitter....

Maybe you want to join Twitter, but don't want me to be your only friend?
Go to twitterposter.com and see the most followed people on Twitter. The bigger the picture, the more popular they are. I started following a few of the larger pictures and a majority of them provide value to my Snitter feed. (iJustine, who is incredibly popular, is completely worthless, but that is a post for a different time)

Also, if you want to bring Twitter to your local area, you can start a blog at twitterusergroup.com.
Thanks to their convenient Wordpress templates, you can use a blog to create meet ups and local events for your area.

Mine is at elroy.twitterusergroup.com. I haven't added anything yet and frankly am not sure what I am going to do with it.
But, it is there....

So, hopefully that will help all of you ease your way in Twitter.

Weekly Links

The Yahoo! Pipes del.icio.us links builder that I use doesn't seem to want to work for me. So, instead, I will highlight a few things I found interesting this week.

[Facebook] Your Privacy Is An Illusion: Bank intern busted by Facebook
Why not to use Facebook all the time at work
[HowTo] How to take a shower
An amusing video comparison
[Music] Top seven reasons why Soulja Boy is worse than global warming and twice as annoying
I hate Soulja Boy


Also, I've switched to my own del.icio.us account. I imported all of the previously bookmarked pages from the villagerwithwheel account:
elroy's delicious

"Don't worry son, that's good growth for a boy your age"

Movember the 16th

Having passed the halfway point in my 30 day adventure, I feel prepared to offer some insight into the world of the mustachio'd man. I can't claim to be sporting the 'stache unironically, so perhaps my understanding of the lifestyle that comes with the moustache is in some way tainted. However, I believe I can supply a rough primer for those considering taking the plunge, be it for charitable or aesthetic [sic] reasons.

The first thing you need to know is that if you’re to grow a lip sweater of your own, you need to have thick skin underneath it. The high quality of one-liners I hear on a daily basis forces me to one of two conclusions: either I have extremely clever friends and coworkers; or it is just exceedingly easy to make fun of a moustache.

The other thing you need to understand is that a moustache is like a magnifying glass. They make awkward people seem more awkward, eccentric people more eccentric, drunk people more drunk. It's like a megaphone for your worldview/BAC. This applies to all styles (the Trucker, the Abracadabra...even the Business Man.) There are no subtle moustaches.

Lastly, I should tell you that moustaches are simply not appealing to women. It pretty much offends all five senses (don’t ask how this is possible.) So my initial aspirations for a stylish ‘stache are long gone, and you shouldn’t hold on to false hope either. There are no good looking moustaches. There are only degrees of bad.

So, my bald-lipped friends, you’ve been warned.

Fondly,
Mike

PS. Just a reminder…me and my moustache are raising money to fight prostate cancer. Go here to donate: DONATE TO MOVEMBER

Flying Spaghetti Monster

A couple years ago I'd heard about the Flying Spaghetti Monster when the debate was raging in Kansas about evolution vs. intelligent design but I had no idea that it was still going.

This whole thing started back in the day when a physics student from Oregon sent a letter to the Kansas School Board demanding equal time to advocate his view that the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or FSM, had created the universe. I won't go into the whole timeline, go to Wikipedia if you want to read the details. Anyway, the idea that followers of FSM, called Pastafarians, dress like pirates really pumps me up. Perusing my best online friend I also found out that there is an international "talk like a pirate day," and it is pretty much FSM's Christmas. Also the fact that you can argue that dressing like a pirate is an expression of religious freedom is a very liberating idea.

If you already have your own religion or you're not won over by FSM or their pious pillaging pirates, then you should check out similar fake religions including:
Frisbeetarianism (Which obviously sucks)
Sentient Puddle
Scientology (Tom Cruise will now haunt me for years)
and my second favorite, Invisible Pink Unicorn

Disclaimer: Please don't flood me with hate mail or try to proseletyze, I only find this funny. I'm not really trying to convert you.

I support Curtis Martin...

When former New York Jets running back Curtis Martin retired in July, he stated he wanted to transition to the front office. More specifically, he wants to own a team in the NFL.

I think that is a great goal. Some athletes become TV analysts, some open businesses, and frankly I don't know what else former athletes do, but I'm sure most have to work.

Why have I all of the sudden become such a big fan of Curtis Martin's goal? Because he is thought of as one of the toughest athletes to play in New York? Because is the league's fourth-leading career rusher?
Actually, no, it is because of this quote from an ESPN article:

"I want to become a new image of what a professional athlete is," Martin said. "I think presently in sports, you have the whole bravado, bling-bling, and it seems that that's the image that most of us look up to, and I don't know who set that image. I want to be a different image. I want to be an image that's positive for you long-term. ... That's one of my true motivations, is to be a different goal to reach versus just having a million homes and a million cars and all the jewelry in the world."

Who DID set the image of bling-bling and a million possessions? I don't know, but I might blame hip-hop artists like Soulja Boy (Tell'em).

But, regardless, I think it is great that Curtis Martin is taking a different approach from the typical secular world views that are propagated in the sports world.

I will cheer for whatever team Martin becomes an owner of, especially if the Bears keeping starting Rex Grossman....

Wonder how Ron Artest would have responded...

So the other day in Israel, one of the biggest league games of the Israeli basketball season occurred. With two minutes to go in the Hapoel Jerusalem versus Hapoel Holon game, a steward had his hand blown off as he tried to remove a firecracker thrown onto the court. There are so many not very funny jokes about explosions and the Middle East that I'll skip over trying to be humorous.

In my previous years, I may have thrown things at referees in third world countries, but we'll skip over that. I certainly never threw explosive things at anyone.

To make all you sports fans feel that much safer that we're in America, I'll recap the greatest (and by greatest I mean worst) things thrown at sporting events.

Ron Artest:


And because I can't find the Giants snowball fight of 1995 or Tom Gamboa being attacked by the two inbred White Sox fans, I give you Randy Johnson:

[Insert Name Here] and the Lords of the Underworld

The list of bonus tracks for Rock Band has been released. My internal monologue while scanning:

Who are these people... I don't know any of these songs... Wait, what was
that!? OMFG they have Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld! OMMFG, how will the singing along work?! This will produce the BEST YouTube videos ever! Yes!
YES!!!

I can't wait.

Japanese Exploding Piggy Bank

I saw this the other day on mental_floss magazine and this morning again as a link on the Freakonomics Blog....so, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to talk about the recently released Japanese Exploding Piggy Bank.

The point of this piggy bank is that it will "explode" when the owner hasn't saved in a while.
So, it scatters coins all over the place when you haven't fed it money in a few days? I realize this is designed as a toy, but I think it is sending the wrong message.

The Japanese thought about the exploding aspect:
"'Users must pick up and collect the scattered coins and reflect on their laziness,' the Japanese company said."

If it were me, I would take that exploded money, reflex on my laziness about putting it back in the piggy bank and instead spend it. What is easier, putting lots of coins one at a time through a small slot or taking them all and buying something cool?
But, then you have to deal with the embarrassment of paying for something with lots of coins. Or you could go to the bank first. But, then we get back to our original question of which is easier...picking up the coins and going to a bank to get money OR putting the coins back in the piggy bank?

I've confused myself.

Clearly, the right way to go is to use the already released Japanese pee powered batteries (previously posted by zach) in your battery powered piggy bank. You will save money by dropping coins in the piggy bank slot and save even more money by recharging the piggy bank batteries with your own "little potty".

The battery producer, NoPoPo, and the piggy bank maker, TOMY Co Ltd, should really do a joint marketing campaign....

P.S. If you don't want to get mugged taking your piggy bank to the real bank, make sure to wear one of these vending machine costumes (previously mentioned by electronic vagrant).

Wal-Mart offers X-box 360 + 5 games for $279.92 on Black Friday

The stock market rallied around 1% this morning thanks to Wal-Mart's surprisingly strong third-quarter results. Shares rose 5.5% in early morning trading after earnings topped estimates and the company raised their projected sales for the coming year.

There is even better news to cheer about: Wal-Mart has given a sneak peek of its Black Friday deals. The store will offer xbox 360 game consoles along with 5 games for around $280. Also, they will be selling 50-inch Phillips plasma televisions for $1397.

M.C. Hammer = Web 2.0 guru?

Apparently, the man famous for those catchy tunes, "U Can't Touch This" and "Too Legit To Quit" (hey hey!!) was a member of TechCrunch's TechCrunch40.

TechCrunch40 is an annual conference where the 40 of the hottest new startups show off their products. They get to do it for free and a prize is given to the best company. Mint (previously mentioned on this blog) won the $50,000 prize this year.

So, MC Hammer (could you call me by my rapping name?) was on the panel of experts. When the panelists were announced, TechCrunch was accused of including Hammer only because he was black.
Then, it was revealed that TechCrunch's founder, Michael Arrington, was an investor in a company that MC Hammer is co-founding, DanceJam.

Right now you're saying, "Hold the phone, MC Hammer has a web startup company?"...yes, in fact he does.

DanceJam:
"DanceJam is a social media destination where users hang out and watch people dance, learn how to dance, or show off their moves online."

Read more HERE.

But, the point is, Mr. MC Hammer was supposedly a knowledgeable panelist and provided value throughout the conference. I didn't know the great Hammer was such a nerd.

Perhaps I'll have to put "Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em" back on my ipod (yes, it is in my music collection)...


As a side note, does anyone else find it amusing that after all these years, Amazon still claims you are saving 99 cents on that CD I just linked to? I would bet you could find a copy of that CD selling for less than $10.99.

Krumping: Dance moves I should learn for my wedding?

Google Trends has recently alerted me to a relatively new form of dance:
Krumping

What is Krumping? It all depends on who you ask....

Wikipedia:
"Krumping is a relatively new form of dance within the "urban" and street dance movements, and is characterized by free, expressive and highly energetic moves. The form is attributed as having originated in the community of South Los Angeles."

UrbanDictionary.com:
"A positive outlet for anger, a way of spiritual dancing and praise,a popular and fast growing style of hip-hop dance. It originated in the African-American community of South Central Los Angeles, California. It is free, expressive, and highly energetic, and is the newest form of the "Urban" Black dance movement."

A few facts about Krumping:
Getting "Buck" is the latest form of Krumping. It is more difficult than other styles. There are about a dozen different ways to grade Krumping. Groups of Krump dancers are called "fams" or "families".

Here's some Krump slang for you (thanks to Wikipedia):

• Kill off: To be beaten, or another name for a trick move
  
• Kill off crucially: To be beaten badly
  
• Buck: Used to describe something cool or someone good at krumping
  
• Amped: Used to describe a person who's really into the spirit of krump
  
• Krump groupie: Used to describe people who follow krumpers but don't krump or are unknown to the krump world

For more info on Krumping (because I am clearly not an expert), please go to:
KrumpDancing.com
KrumpKings.com

Enjoy a clip of some dude Krumping:



So, on second thought, probably not an appropriate style of dance for my wedding....

Big Ern's "Nobody's Perfect,Especially Those Refs in Indianapolis Last Week" Locks of the Week

Well, it was a good run. A run we'd still we'd still be on if Ellis Hobbs could have avoided interfering with Reggie Wayne. By getting tackled by him.

This week's picks:

• Buffalo (-3) at Miami
• Redskins (-3) vs. Philadelphia
• Detriot (Pick 'em) at Arizona
  

Last week: 2-1
This year: 15-8-3

A ‘Stache is Born

Movember the Ninth

As previously mentioned, I will be growing a Mo (translation - moustache) for the month of November in support of the Prostate Cancer Foundation. I’ve agreed to document my progress for the benefit of those that lack the mental fortitude (or Y chromosomes) to join me on my journey.

So here we are. The calendar is clear. There will be no client meetings, no blind dates. My bathroom mirror is adorned with photos of the great moustaches of my youth: Zorro, Lando Calrissian, the Swedish Chef, and of course, Keith Hernandez.

These are the men who will guide me through the tough times, give me strength and inspiration. I will need their help, because deep down, I harbor the hope that, against the odds – the long, looooong odds – I can make the ‘stache look good.

But this is only the beginning. My Mo is a work in progress - a blank canvas of possibilities and adolescent dreams. So over the next few weeks, check back in for some pictures, random thoughts, and a rough count of the number people who mutter “Nice ‘stache, D-Bag” under their breath as they pass me on the street or in the subway.

Love,
Mike

P.S. If you’d like to donate, please click here. For those who can make it rain, please do.

An interesting way to find a girlfriend...make a website!

Apparently, some guy in NYC experience love at first site, but she got away. So, he created a website dedicated to finding her, along with a full sketch, description of activities and the time when he fell in love, so to speak....

www.nygirlofmydreams.com

Then, apparently, he found her! Good for him, but he says he won't be updating the world of the progress of the relationship. I'm excited for him, but then again, bad decision. Just think how he could take his 10 seconds of fame and expand it into success.

1) People could hire him to make little sketches for an online dating service.

2) He could lobby MTV or VH1 to make a reality show about their relationship (if they did a second season of "I Love NY", they should take this guy and his mystery girl).

3) He could start a social network based on colored stick figure drawings, adopt Google's OpenSocial platform, Twitter integration, Todoist, streaming TV, and go nuts! How could that combination not be a success?

I know I would join....

Trader Joe's kicks the leg out from under my food pyramid

I like Trader Joe's. The food is cheap, it is easy too cook, it seems like it's good for me, and you can buy cheap beer and wine. That all adds up to a successful business model targeted at semi-poor young professionals. For about a year, TJs supplemented my diet of cereal and donuts.

So I swing by there this weekend to pick up some of my favorites, and I get the devastating news:

Trader Joe's potstickers have been discontinued....

If you never had them, it was probably because I would eat half a bag a night for weeks on end. I bought the last bag at the store on 39th in SE Portland and cried my way home. I will have to try out this Wei Chuan brand and let everyone know my thoughts. In the meantime, the cereal and donut industries are crying out in joy.

Utterz: An audio/video blogging tool

Utterz is a Twitter-like site where you can leave voice messages, video, pictures, or texts.

Scobleizer described it as TwitterGram, but with a better interface. TwitterGram allows you to phone in your "tweets".

Basically, you can leave your voice/video/pics/txts to Utterz or instead to your website/blog. So, it can be a good mobile blogging tool, since it encompasses most aspects of your surroundings away from a computer. If you have a nice multimedia phone/smartphone, that would help.

I'll probably join, but only to use their services to post to the blog. There are widgets for most major blog sites (like Blogger) to automatically post things you send to Utterz right to your blog.
It just seems like a place to leave group voicemails. Let me know if you use it and find it to be helpful....

Here's a link from mashable.com about utterz: LINK

Kermit, No!

Aqua Dots, the, umm, dot toy have been recalled. When ingested, the aqua dots metabolize as gamma-hydroxy butyrate (GHB) also known as Love Potion Number Sigma Chi the date rape drug.

The manufacturer is believed to have shipped the toys made of GHB due to a shortage of lead.

The Office cast agrees not to cross the picket line!

From my twitter feed (writersstrike):

The Office has shut down - entire cast agreed not to cross the picket line
http://tinyurl.com/35ajg4 Video: http://urltea.com/20x7

This is depressing! I can't live without Micheal Scott and Dwight Shrute as the Regional Manager and Assistant To the Regional Manager.

My DVR will be crying on Thursday (or whenever this starts affecting new episodes).

What I want: Instant RSS to e-mail

I know that I preach the gospel of RSS feeds, Twitter, Snitter and the like, but what I really want is an instant RSS to e-mail agent/website.

Current options:
sendmerss.com
r-mail.org
feedblitz.com
rssfwd.com
feedburner.com

There are certain feeds that I would prefer to read via e-mail. Having a Treo and gmail IMAP accounts, it would be great to have instantaneous information for certain things. For instance, my future wife's Twitter feed. Having her updates e-mailed to me would be great. I don't want text messages or IM's.

Also, Facebook status updates. I don't ever sign on, but I subscribe to the RSS feed for my friends' status updates.

Knowing these things in real time seems important to me.

The above websites are lacking in one main area: speed.

R-mail.org is the only one that will deliver multiple e-mails a day. The rest are just a digest format for the last 24 hours. But, once again, r-mail is slow. I was receiving the individual r-mail feed e-mails hours after I would see them in Google Reader.

On a side note, I think Google Reader is also slow, because I see updates in Snitter way before the feed hits Google Reader. Perhaps it is a feedburner problem.

Maybe I could use a combination of Outlook 2007, which reads RSS feeds, and an auto forward rule? I haven't looked into that yet. Or maybe Thunderbird?

This goes in line with the concept of gmail being the center of your universe as written about by Steve Rubel: HERE

Anyway, being part of the "MTV generation" that is engrossed in social networking, real-time information is important. Look at the blogging community. Everyone wants to be the first to break a story whether it is about Britney Spears, the latest Apple product, or whatever else is hot at the time. Although, it may not be "breaking news" for anyone but me to see the latest status update for a friend, it may be important enough that I want to respond in a relevant time period.

So, if anyone has any ideas, please let me know.

5min can tell you how to get girls to go out with you...

....thankfully, all the Villagers have girlfriends/brides-to-be/wives.

But, if not, check out 5min.
5min is a site dedicated to giving people tips and instructions on different topics.

They have a plethora of categories like Business, Fashion, Fitness, Tech, Life Tips, and many others. And 5min isn't just about learning, but also spreading your own tips and knowledge. All you need to do it make a short video and upload it to teach others about a topic of your choice.

Here's an example I could NOT pass up sharing. It is about 3 1/2 minutes long, but I highly recommend watching it:

Good Bowling Technique and Celebration...

Good bowling technique:


A great way to celebrate after a good roll:


Walter Sobchak: OVER THE LINE!
Smokey: Huh?
Walter Sobchak: I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line, that's a foul.
Smokey: Bullsh!t. Mark it 8, Dude.
Walter Sobchak: Uh, excuse me. Mark it zero. Next frame.
Smokey: Bullsh!t, Walter. Mark it 8, Dude.
Walter Sobchak: Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

Intense Debate Comment System

We recently changed our comment system.
All our comments are now hosted by Intense Debate.

To easily track new comments on the blog, you can subscribe to the comment RSS feed at:
Villager With Wheel Blog Comments

There is also a link the the right side of the blog.

So far, I like that ID (Intense Debate) integrates the comments area into the blog post page. I never liked the blogger pop up to add a comment. Also, this makes it much easier to track comments and actually follow a conversation.
It also allows you to track comments by individual ID users. So, if you wanted to see comments made by zach, you could subscribe to his ID user comments feed.

Just a warning, this service is still in beta. There are bugs.
I still can't log in with my OpenID, although it is supported by ID. Our Villager With Wheel account wasn't receiving the activation e-mail so I couldn't log in.

But, ID has been extremely helpful and responsive to my questions and problems. Our account was manually activated and the install process went relatively smoothly. Thanks to Josh from ID for all the help.

New South Park Episode Offends Many People

As zach pointed out, South Park's new episode "Guitar Queer-o" crosses the line. Guitar Hero fans are planning a live musical performance in protest of the new episode (real instruments will not be used).

Some South Park songs that have already been made into G.H. songs:


"Chocolate Salty ####"

America, #### YEAH!!!

Elroy Reluctantly Boycotts South Park...

...for pointed mockery of all-time favorite video game. I just hope they don't ruin Guitar Hero for me the same way they ruined Family Guy.