Change of address...

If you haven't noticed, we have changed the address of our blog. The new address is:
www.villagerwithwheel.com

The old address will still redirect to the new one...

Thanks to Zach for purchasing the domain.

We feel so grown up....

Cool, yet disturbing.

I, for one, welcome our new pendulum-swinging robot overlords...

Big Ern's "Shattered Kneecaps" Locks of the Week

Week 1
As we all know, hardwork, thriftiness, and 401k contributions are for suckers. The true path to riches and trophy wives is paved with gambling advice of questionable origins. With that in mind, it is my great pleasure to present the first installment of Big Ern's Locks of the week.

1. Atlanta (+3) @ Minnesota - Can you spell Tavaris Jackson? (Can I?)
2. San Diego (-6) vs. Chicago - This will make more sense after watching Shawn Merriman prancing around after forcing Rex Grossmans 11th sack (and 4th fumble) of the game. Sorry Nate.

Remember kids, don't bet more than you're willing to lie to your significant other/parents about losing.

LEEEEEEEEROYYYYYYYYY JENKINS

You guys interested in starting our own quest?????

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkCNJRfSZBU

Choosy Fathers Choose Skyy Vodka

EV's inaugural power rankings:

1. Appalachian State/Georgia Tech/Arkansas State (moral victory) - You did America's bidding and whooped up on two teams that the majority of America dislikes. Please let this be contagious to all I-AA teams lined up to fatten the records of the SEC and Big 12. Also, if Touchdown Jesus exists, he will let Notre Dame go 0-12 this year. Their coach is the epitome of sloth and pride.
2. Sleep and Pooping - Looks like a lock to crack (no pun intended) the top 10 for years to come. Just missed out on the number one spot because I'm feeling a little bloated as of late.
3. Friends and Family - Had a wonderful wedding celebration recently and they made the difference. I didn't even have to bail any of them out of jail.
4. Clean Air - Every time I come to California, I'm glad I get to go home within a day or two.
5. Travel Game Thing - Don't know your real name, but you're on Facebook and give me an easy way to expand my geography knowledge AND waste time. I'm moving up the world rankings fast!
6. Luciano Pavarotti - RIP buddy. Didn't know you, but heard you had a wonderful voice, and I know you married your twenty-something secretary when you were 70. Even fat guys make it big sometimes.
7. Blog Names - Gave me lots of interesting material to work with.
8. Hiking - If you never get outside, try this sometime. It can be quite enjoyable. Had a lovely time watching a volcano erupt from a dozen or so miles away this weekend. Makes me feel in shape too, because everybody I walk past looks much more tired.
9. Deuce - Glad you play for Fulham, because if you hadn't been playing I would have turned off what turned out to be a wonderful game.
10. Twitter - I still don't know what you are, but Elroy LOVES you. Call him sometime, but don't get too fresh, he has a woman....

Others receiving votes: annualcreditreport.com; middle age; toenails; phone grundus

Write in votes are welcome

Achieve your goals...

An interesting site I was turned on to while reading a link from a lifehacker post on tips to becoming an early riser.

Joe's Goals

Apparently, a free site to track your daily goals. You can even post them on MySpace (boo) or your blog (yeah!).

I'm sure everyone who reads this blog wants to know if I am achieving my goals...well, even if that is not true, I'm signing up.

Be still my heart....

New ipods?

I'm not one for an iphone (although they are cool), but gee whiz do these new ipods look nifty....

Link

Carson Should Remember This...

...the next time he gets pulled over coming back from Canada smashed on Molson.

Would the same principle hold for the sourcecode in radar guns? If so, I have one more reason to sell my house and buy (and live in) my money Tesla Roadster.

Link

The toy Butters would love...

I realize the new season of South Park doesn't start for a long time, but if they could just throw this product in there, I'm sure Butters would appreciate it while he plays "Hello Kitty Island Adventure"....


Loo loo loo, I've got some apples, loo loo loo, you've got some too.....

Butters

Travis Henry's Rhythm Method

I know we've all been busy gathering Michael Vick's low-hanging fruit, but how has no one in our league managed to come up with a Travis Henry-inspired team name? 9 kids with 9 different women? Shawn Kemp wishes he had that kind of potency.

If we can't make this happen, can we honestly consider ourselves offensive louts?

Redskins

Alright i might casually acknowledge that every single year, every Redskins fan says 'THIS IS THE YEAR OF THE REDSKINS'. They provide you with astrological and mathmatical proof that this year more than any, the Skins are going to sweep the eagles, drug dealing cowboys and timid Giants. A few years back, our savior, the reverned Joe Gibbs returned to confirm out belief that the Skins were the greatest thing since Walmart. Well none of these predictions have come true. The Skins have failed miserably.

The point of all my incoherent, redneck, misspelled ramblings is to say that this year really is the year of the Skins. Its different this year. They are going to win the Super Bowl!!!

Hell

I think that Hell looks like a Wal-Mart. You walk in and see that the store manager is Hugo Chavez and the assistant store manager is Dick Cheney. The restrooms in hell are very well lit and warm. There are no doors on any of the stalls, and the bathroom has high traffic levels. Computers, magazines, newspapers, and games are not allowed in said bathrooms. The oxygen network is the only television station that the TVs in the electronics department get. The Yankees win the World Series, Duke wins the NCAA basketball championship, and a team from the SEC wins the BCS. Every time I try to curl up in a corner and fall asleep, the missionaries who roam the aisles come and want to sign me up for choir practice.

I could go on, but I have to go eat lunch.

Karaoke Etiquette

When I'm burning up the mic on karaoke night, what are the rules for lyrics that include the n-bomb ("nickle" henceforth)? Is there a difference between a David Allen Coe-type, "Working like a nickel every night and day," and a "West coast nickels got crazy game" rap lyric?

Assuming that the Coe is verboten, is there a difference between "all us nickles" and "all you nickles"? Maybe I should stick to Endless Love?

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