Boycott Sam Adams

So even though they try to play it off like they're a cool beer company, the makers of Sam Adams are actually a bunch of pricks. There is a member of the Portland City Council, a semi-decent guy, named Sam Adams. He happens to be running for mayor of Portland. So what happens when a couple of his backers start setting up websites to support his campaign like samadamsformayor.com and mayorsamadams.com? The Boston Brewing Company, maker of Samuel Adams beer starts throwing lawyers at the problem, threatening to sue the real Sam Adams for trademark infringement and other bogus charges. Willamette Week has a copy of the actual cease and desist letter they sent.

The spokesman for The Boston "Soon Falling Into The Sixth Level of Hell Alongside Wal-Mart" Brewing Company actually said she is "willing to discuss Adams' use of his name on his Web sites."

To which the real Sam Adams responded, "They say they've been using this trademark since 1984, I've been using it since 1963."

I will be boycotting all Sam Adams products for the near future. I hope you will all join me.

PS: Bill Belichick is a cheater, the Red Sox are new Yankees, and the Celtics still suck.

UPDATE: An informed reader in Portland was kind enough to leave us a link of a more robust account of this controversy. Thanks, Rusty: LINK

Elevator Etiquette

This post is made on behalf of all elevator users who may not realize there is certain etiquette that must be strictly followed when riding an elevator and to elevator aficionados who have been riding so long that they think the rules no longer apply to them.

The Ten Commandments of Elevator Manners
:

1. Thou shalt not fart. (often ignored by one member of this blog :()

2. Thou shalt not attempt to board elevator before previous passengers have disembarked. The universe does not revolve around you.

3. Thou shalt not press a button for wrong floor without acting appropriately ashamed as elevator stops and doors open then shut without anyone leaving.

4. Thou shall take the stairs if traveling between one or two floors, barring personal injury, lest incur the wrath of those traveling to the 32nd floor whose trips are delayed due to your laziness. (Justifying taking the elevator one floor because "they don't know if I'm sick--I could have some horrible disease, for all they know" is a supreme form of laziness, and using this logic risks incurring said horrible disease in the interest of serving you right. Certainly, some otherwise healthy-looking people have problems preventing them from using stairs, but surely not everyone in the building is afflicted with such illnesses.)

5. Thou shall hold the door for others running to catch the carriage. A plague on those who watch idly by as they slide shut in someone’s face.

6. However, thou shalt not hold the door indefinitely and delay travel for other passengers. In a busy building, one could potentially hold the door for several minutes waiting for the carriage to fill. Unless someone is clearly attempting to catch that particular elevator, adopt the adage “thy snoozes, thy loses.”

7. Thou shall wait for empty carriage if thou is sick. If that proves impossible, thou shall refrain from coughing/sneezing/etc. for duration of ride, even if this means thou’s face turns bright red and thou feels like dying.


8. Thou shall give others their personal space in an uncrowded elevator.

9. Thou shalt not call out their floor to the person standing nearest the buttons as if that person is the lift operator. If there is space to do so, thou shalt press button thyself.

10. Thou shalt not carry on personal conversations, be they person-to-person or via cellular phone. Thine elevator is not thine phone booth.

I hate touching toilet handles...

...so, I want my very own foot toilet flusher.

Thanks to an e-mail alerting me of this device sent to me by my future wife, I can now tell you that if you have a Sam's Club membership, you can buy one online for $28 (not including shipping).

Or, if you hate Wal-Mart like our friendly villager EV does, you can order one from somewhere like Health Mega Mall.

Either way, you won't have to touch the handle while flushing ever again.
Yes, I know it is your own home. Yes, I know I bookmarked a page in del.icio.us about how people need to eat more excrement. But, I still hate germs and I don't know where that toilet handle has been...it could have been kissing girls on the mouf!

Fantastic Reader E-mail

From today's ESPN Sportsguy Column

Regarding JD Drew's Game 6 Grand Slam:

Sam P. from Stateline, Nev.: I will never be more surprised than I was when J.D. hit that grand slam. If Reese Witherspoon released a porn video with Julia Stiles and the Quaker Oats guy, I would not be more surprised than I was when J.D. Drew got that hit. Maybe Michael Moore will break the marathon record ... and I will be half as surprised as I was when J.D. went deep.

Giving a good reason for laughing out loud during a Systems Engineering class isn't the easiest thing in the world.

A tribute to our most faithful reader...

By observing our visitor statistics at statcounter.com, I notice the person with the most pageloads (other than the villagers):

Peewee Berry Ruckus

Who is Peewee Berry Ruckus?



BARAKA!!!

(Thanks for reading our blog.)

Dumbledore pride t-shirts...

After the recent revelation that J.K. Rowling always though of Dumbledore as a homosexual, some T-shirts have come out in support of Dumbledore's sexual preference.

Will straight people wear these shirts?

Stuart Scott is the worst...

I've been watching SportsCenter after Monday Night Football.

I think Steve Young wanted to punch Stuart Scott in the face. He cannot stop talking about the upcoming New England vs. Indianapolis game.

Tony Dungy was asked about it and responded that they were focusing on next week's game against the Carolina Panthers. But, since Dungy didn't say the words "New England" or "Patriots" when talking about week 9, Stuart Scott proceeded to over analyze and suck.

Does this guy ever provide any value?
I doubt he does his own research. He is handed a sheet of paper with facts and he rattles them off like he knows something.

We really need Ed Hochuli to punch him in the face....

Electronic Vagrant Presents: Venture Capital Don'ts

So this evening I was reading the Early Warning blog on Washington Post when I stumbled upon what may be the world's greatest invention. I went there to read an update on the mysterious Israeli bombing, and I came back with a great way for Zach to blow his money make way more than 1% a week. A man named Brian Sandler has invented "a machine to get rid of hurricanes." Harness this while you can! I'm sure all the big names are itching to throw money at this guy.

Moving along, many of you were crucified in your Nobel Fantasy Leagues when Albert Arnold Gore Jr. won the Peace Prize. We here at VC Central paid much more attention to the recent Ignobel Prizes. Many of the winners show promise, but the brightest star continues to be multiple winner Troy Hurtubise, inventor of the grizzly suit and a light that shines through solid objects. ACOM, I suggest that you sell your MSFT stock and invest in this up and comer!

Finally, I think that Elroy should sell all of his Rex Grossman memorabilia while he can still get a few pennies on the dollar for it and invest in the best thing to hit Honshu since pee batteries. That's right, I'm talking about a pacifist island's response to the taser: the I'm so scared that I will unfurl a vending machine costume and blend in with my surroundings while my attacker is hopelessly outwitted crimefighting apparatus.



Happy Investing!

DUMBLEDORE JOINS NAMBLA

Best selling author of the Harry Potter book series announced in New York's Carnegie Hall that Dumbledore is gay. While this was not explicitly stated in any of the books, it seems that it was subtly hinted at when Rowling described Dumbledore's deep and troubled past and close relationship with soon-to-be rival, Gellert Grindelwald.

To some this is good news and to others it is irrelevant, frivolous and inappropriate. I could be wrong, but I believe most people probably thought Dumbledore was asexual if they even thought about his sexuality at all.

This news does not change the fact that the Harry Potter book series is great but rather it just seems awfully distasteful for Rowling to comment on his sexuality at all. Whats next? Will she assert that he was the founder of NAMBLA?

Thankfully, other writers have bit their tongue. I'm not quite sure how I would react if I found out that Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi had a relationship. Or even worse, what if R2D2 and C3PO were gay?

United wants you to pay to get your luggage quicker...

Because I travel every week, I feel the need to highlight the latest comments from the CEO of United Airlines.

His new 5-year plan includes the following:

• Invest $4 billion in information systems
  
• Investigate divesting into separate businesses
  
  • $750 million cargo business
    
  • $800 frequent flier program (Mileage Plus)
    
• Exploring merger opportunities
  
• Offer extra services
  
  • Curbside to curbside baggage service
    
  • Fees to check a second bag
    
  • "Renting" elite perks for the day
    
  • Fees for economy passengers to ensure their luggage is first off the plane
    

WHAT IS THAT NONSENSE?

I have silver status on Air France (due to international travel), but other than that, I am far away from being able to not pay for changing flights on Delta or getting upgraded on American or these potentially new charges on United to have my bags get their quicker.

Thankfully, I don't check a bag when traveling for business. But, for non-business travel, these new a la carte fees would suck. As if United isn't charging enough for the tickets, you would have to pay more so you can hang out at the airport less?

I'm glad I use my US Airways frequent flier number when I fly United....

Big Ern's "Too Tired to Think of a Pun" Locks of the Week

Stupid take-home mid-term...

New England (-17) over MIAMI
Indianapolis (-3) over JACKSONVILLE
Atlanta (+8) vs. NEW ORLEANS

Last week: 1-0-2
This year: 7-7-3