The Mustachio Bashio and the End of Movember

Movember +1

Last night my Movember team celebrated a month of successful moustache growing at the NYC Movember Gala Party, which was essentially a bizarre costume-cocktail party MC’ed by ... Randy Jones, also known as the cowboy from the Village People.

Racing to drink themselves unconscious were hundreds of newly moustachio’d men and their supporters. These whiskered faces hid normal, clean-cut guys who have nothing to do with the porn industry, and whose only folly was to band together for the sake of men’s health.

While some ‘staches were true pieces of art - well-preened and beautifully sculptured creations that Michelangelo himself would be proud to have chiseled – most looked quite horrible.

It can’t be denied that the moustache instills new confidence in its wearer. So I’m sure there are many who, at this moment, are saying to themselves, “This bad boy doesn’t look too bad. Maybe I’ll keep it til Christmas.” Fortunately, I do not count myself among their delusional ranks. I have a date with my Gillette Mach III.

Many thanks to all who donated.

-Mike

Money, 'Stache, Hoes

Movember the 22nd

Three weeks without a decent shave have left me on the wrong side of sleazy. And so, befitting of a man that looks as if he belongs at a greyhound track, I offer up the following gambling propositions. Perhaps some of them can be addressed by Zach's locks of the week.

Odds of successfully making a new female acquaintance this month - 10:1

Odds of the moustache adversely affecting my year-end review (scheduled for next Wednesday) - 2:1

Over-under on the number of drinks my grandfather will have at Thanksgiving before feeling free to tell me I look like an asshole - 6

Over-under on the number of times I hear the phrase, "That looks disgusting" between now and the end of the month - 12


All praise be to Gamblore.

-Mike

"Don't worry son, that's good growth for a boy your age"

Movember the 16th

Having passed the halfway point in my 30 day adventure, I feel prepared to offer some insight into the world of the mustachio'd man. I can't claim to be sporting the 'stache unironically, so perhaps my understanding of the lifestyle that comes with the moustache is in some way tainted. However, I believe I can supply a rough primer for those considering taking the plunge, be it for charitable or aesthetic [sic] reasons.

The first thing you need to know is that if you’re to grow a lip sweater of your own, you need to have thick skin underneath it. The high quality of one-liners I hear on a daily basis forces me to one of two conclusions: either I have extremely clever friends and coworkers; or it is just exceedingly easy to make fun of a moustache.

The other thing you need to understand is that a moustache is like a magnifying glass. They make awkward people seem more awkward, eccentric people more eccentric, drunk people more drunk. It's like a megaphone for your worldview/BAC. This applies to all styles (the Trucker, the Abracadabra...even the Business Man.) There are no subtle moustaches.

Lastly, I should tell you that moustaches are simply not appealing to women. It pretty much offends all five senses (don’t ask how this is possible.) So my initial aspirations for a stylish ‘stache are long gone, and you shouldn’t hold on to false hope either. There are no good looking moustaches. There are only degrees of bad.

So, my bald-lipped friends, you’ve been warned.

Fondly,
Mike

PS. Just a reminder…me and my moustache are raising money to fight prostate cancer. Go here to donate: DONATE TO MOVEMBER

A ‘Stache is Born

Movember the Ninth

As previously mentioned, I will be growing a Mo (translation - moustache) for the month of November in support of the Prostate Cancer Foundation. I’ve agreed to document my progress for the benefit of those that lack the mental fortitude (or Y chromosomes) to join me on my journey.

So here we are. The calendar is clear. There will be no client meetings, no blind dates. My bathroom mirror is adorned with photos of the great moustaches of my youth: Zorro, Lando Calrissian, the Swedish Chef, and of course, Keith Hernandez.

These are the men who will guide me through the tough times, give me strength and inspiration. I will need their help, because deep down, I harbor the hope that, against the odds – the long, looooong odds – I can make the ‘stache look good.

But this is only the beginning. My Mo is a work in progress - a blank canvas of possibilities and adolescent dreams. So over the next few weeks, check back in for some pictures, random thoughts, and a rough count of the number people who mutter “Nice ‘stache, D-Bag” under their breath as they pass me on the street or in the subway.

Love,
Mike

P.S. If you’d like to donate, please click here. For those who can make it rain, please do.

Movember

In a few days, October will turn into Movember.
Yes, I said Movember.

What is Movember?

"Movember (the month formally known as November) is a charity event held during November each year.

At the start of Movember guys register with a clean shaven face. The Movember participants known as Mo Bros then have the remainder of the month to grow and groom their Mo (Australian slang for moustache) and along the way raise as much money and awareness about male health issues as possible."

In this case, all money donated goes directly to prostate cancer.

Baraka, our recently highlighted biggest fan, is participating in Movember. His take on it:

"I’ve been presented with the opportunity to do something good for the world and look like a total douche bag at the same time."

So, if you want to support Baraka in his pursuit to look terrible, please go to the following link and donate some money:

Sponsor Baraka

If he allows it, I will post pictures of his growth throughout the month.

Feel free to leave suggestions for the type of "Mo" that Baraka should grow in the comments...