Stupid is as Stupid Reads

Guess which screen shot is of CNN's U.S. Edition and which is their International Edition.

Exhibit A:



Exhibit B:


If you picked Exhibit A as the CNN international Edition you are correct. If you picked Exhibit A as the CNN U.S. Edition, well, you've probably spent too much reading CNN U.S. Edition. And become retarded.

Big Ern's Totally Scientific Breakdown:
U.S. Page: 29 items, 22 of which are sensational, prurient, or otherwise dumb. The number is that low only becuase I get excited for I am Legend, and iPod Accessories. I also gave the benefit of doubt to the Time quotes, and the CNN Wire, yielding a domestic mongoloid index of 0.76.

International Page: 22 items, only 10 of which stink. International mongoloid index: 0.45.

Popular U.S. News Topics: Steroids, dog fighting, murder, promiscuity, and the antics of primates. (Technically, all of these could be filed under the antics of primates.)

Popular International News Topics: Global warming, international diplomacy, terrorism, and cloned cats (apparently these are a hit everywhere).

The Moral Lesson Herein:
Live in the U.S and want to become famous? Shoot up a dog with steroids then make it fight a gorilla. Consider copulating with the winner and killing the loser.

Live elsewhere and want to become famous? Speak up on global warming or broker a peace between contentious parties. Or make glowing cat clones.

Maybe folks are dumb all over.

Texas Tech bans 'Vick Em' shirts

An entrepreneurial Texas Tech student and Theta Chi member has been banned from selling t-shirts with a front logo reading "Vick 'em"...a reference to the Aggies slogan "Get 'em"....for the Texas Tech v. Texas AM rivalry this weekend.

The student was attempting to raise money for his frat. The t-shirt depicted a football player resembling Mike Vick with the Texas AM mascot,Reveille (a dog), with a noose around its neck. The frat has since been suspended.

Three hundred shirts have sold (probably millions more had the sale continued).

This will only intensify the rivalry between the 2 schools:

"In 1999, after a Tech football victory, Red Raiders fans pelted Aggies players with batteries and taunts. Tech fans tore down the goalposts and paraded them past the Aggies' bus."

In 2001, about 1,000 Tech celebrants tore down the goalposts, marched them the length of the field and pushed them into the A&M section of the stadium. Aggies threw ice and a skirmish ensued.

Then there were the tortillas. In 1992, Tech fans began tossing them like Frisbees onto the field during games. A year later, hundreds of tortillas — many carrying unprintable messages — were thrown during an A&M game."

The 300 or so "Vick 'em" shirts have not yet appeared on ebay or craigslist...at least i couldn't find any.

More pressing than t-shirt fiasco, is the question whether its too soon to dress as Vick for Halloween.