Stupid is as Stupid Reads

Guess which screen shot is of CNN's U.S. Edition and which is their International Edition.

Exhibit A:



Exhibit B:


If you picked Exhibit A as the CNN international Edition you are correct. If you picked Exhibit A as the CNN U.S. Edition, well, you've probably spent too much reading CNN U.S. Edition. And become retarded.

Big Ern's Totally Scientific Breakdown:
U.S. Page: 29 items, 22 of which are sensational, prurient, or otherwise dumb. The number is that low only becuase I get excited for I am Legend, and iPod Accessories. I also gave the benefit of doubt to the Time quotes, and the CNN Wire, yielding a domestic mongoloid index of 0.76.

International Page: 22 items, only 10 of which stink. International mongoloid index: 0.45.

Popular U.S. News Topics: Steroids, dog fighting, murder, promiscuity, and the antics of primates. (Technically, all of these could be filed under the antics of primates.)

Popular International News Topics: Global warming, international diplomacy, terrorism, and cloned cats (apparently these are a hit everywhere).

The Moral Lesson Herein:
Live in the U.S and want to become famous? Shoot up a dog with steroids then make it fight a gorilla. Consider copulating with the winner and killing the loser.

Live elsewhere and want to become famous? Speak up on global warming or broker a peace between contentious parties. Or make glowing cat clones.

Maybe folks are dumb all over.

Brain-Eating Amoeba

My mother originally sent me an article about this, but since the Chicago Tribune has yet to make all its content free like the New York Times (and possibly soon the Wall Street Journal), I have to use a different but similar article.
This article from azcentral.com, highlights the recent death of a 14-year-old boy from a brain-eating bacteria.
Yes, the bacteria "Naegleria Fowleri" can travel up your nose via nerve fibers and eat your brain. The most likely result of such action is death in two weeks. Usually, the bacteria is contracted from warm shallow water. An underwater somersault might result in the bacteria getting into your nose and eventually moving into your brain, destroying tissue as it goes.
Although only 23 people were infected from 1995 to 2004, there have already been six cases this year and experts predict that infections will increase due to rising temperatures and therefore warmer water (future decades).
Symptoms include "a stiff neck, headaches and fevers." At later stages, there will be "signs of brain damage such as hallucinations and behavioral changes."
Here's a link to a CDC fact sheet: LINK

Personally, I am not a huge fan of bodies of water. This doesn't encourage me to go jump in a lake. This bacteria can also be found in swimming pools. That's not cool either.
Either way, I though it was interesting and slightly scary. I don't want a bacteria to turn my brain into an Old Country Buffet....