Hell

I think that Hell looks like a Wal-Mart. You walk in and see that the store manager is Hugo Chavez and the assistant store manager is Dick Cheney. The restrooms in hell are very well lit and warm. There are no doors on any of the stalls, and the bathroom has high traffic levels. Computers, magazines, newspapers, and games are not allowed in said bathrooms. The oxygen network is the only television station that the TVs in the electronics department get. The Yankees win the World Series, Duke wins the NCAA basketball championship, and a team from the SEC wins the BCS. Every time I try to curl up in a corner and fall asleep, the missionaries who roam the aisles come and want to sign me up for choir practice.

I could go on, but I have to go eat lunch.