Choosy Fathers Choose Skyy Vodka

EV's inaugural power rankings:

1. Appalachian State/Georgia Tech/Arkansas State (moral victory) - You did America's bidding and whooped up on two teams that the majority of America dislikes. Please let this be contagious to all I-AA teams lined up to fatten the records of the SEC and Big 12. Also, if Touchdown Jesus exists, he will let Notre Dame go 0-12 this year. Their coach is the epitome of sloth and pride.
2. Sleep and Pooping - Looks like a lock to crack (no pun intended) the top 10 for years to come. Just missed out on the number one spot because I'm feeling a little bloated as of late.
3. Friends and Family - Had a wonderful wedding celebration recently and they made the difference. I didn't even have to bail any of them out of jail.
4. Clean Air - Every time I come to California, I'm glad I get to go home within a day or two.
5. Travel Game Thing - Don't know your real name, but you're on Facebook and give me an easy way to expand my geography knowledge AND waste time. I'm moving up the world rankings fast!
6. Luciano Pavarotti - RIP buddy. Didn't know you, but heard you had a wonderful voice, and I know you married your twenty-something secretary when you were 70. Even fat guys make it big sometimes.
7. Blog Names - Gave me lots of interesting material to work with.
8. Hiking - If you never get outside, try this sometime. It can be quite enjoyable. Had a lovely time watching a volcano erupt from a dozen or so miles away this weekend. Makes me feel in shape too, because everybody I walk past looks much more tired.
9. Deuce - Glad you play for Fulham, because if you hadn't been playing I would have turned off what turned out to be a wonderful game.
10. Twitter - I still don't know what you are, but Elroy LOVES you. Call him sometime, but don't get too fresh, he has a woman....

Others receiving votes: annualcreditreport.com; middle age; toenails; phone grundus

Write in votes are welcome