Panhandle for Reparations

Living in one of the last hippie bastions in the US, a place where a small minority thinks that the occupation of Alaska needs to end, always makes for entertaining news. On the front page of the metro section today was this. I guess this whole idea started on some artist's blog. I'm not really sure why or how panhandling makes the reparations more feasible or if it's just a "white people can shame themselves for a while and give us some cash and everything will be cool and there won't be any ignorant fools left in America" kind of grand plan.

I don't know if I favor reparations, if I hate the idea, or if the only decision I've made is the Dave Chapelle sketch about reparations is really funny. Reparations to me are similar to furry alien invasions, taxes, and women's cyclical events. I try not to think about them. I feel bad even typing that because I should care, but I just have a gut feeling that whatever happens will be screwed up even more, so me not making a decision is the safest way to go. For those of you who really care and want to help out, I've included a guide to help you along the way.

Panhandling Guide

PS: I'm not kidding when I say that the panhandling for reparations article was beat out for the front page by the article detailing the stolen nude self-portrait rug.