"We're uncomfortable with being uncomfortable."

Three out of the four of us live in the DC area (although only ACOM is a true Redskins fan), so this topic came up due to Sean Taylor's recent tragic death.
I will post the conversation we had over e-mail.

I am saddened by Sean Taylor's death and state numerous times below that he may be a bad example for the real topic - thoughts on talking about the deceased.

Also, please read this article by Michael Wilbon for a more complete perspective and story about Sean Taylor. It came out earlier today, a day after I started the conversation below (thanks to Electronic Vagrant for article link). Here goes (warning, it is long)...

Elroy:

In one of the articles about Sean Taylor's recent death, his lawyer is quoted as saying this is a loss of a wonderful person. I'm paraphrasing, but the statement basically says he is a great guy. Ironic his "lawyer" is the one saying it.

I'm not saying that I disliked Sean Taylor or that I'm not sorry he died, but when are we going to call it like it is about dead people?

When I die, I expect people to say something like, he was a decent person, a huge nerd, and a good father/husband (I hope to fulfill that last one). If I turn into a jerk, I want people to say, he was a jerk, but he was good a being a nerd. Or other such general truths...

The article quotes the lawyer, but then goes on to talk about how Sean Taylor clearly had an anger problem which resulted in arrests and monetary penalties (see EV's comment about spitting in people's faces). I realize the liberal media is writing the article, so the obvious contradiction should be expected. I'm not saying nice or smart people don't make stupid mistakes, but not everyone is a great person during their lives and they definitely don't turn into one as soon as they die.

I'm not saying he wasn't a good football player or he doesn't deserve to be mourned, but I would appreciate a little more truth.

In reality, Sean Taylor may be a bad example for my point and I apologize if I am crucifying a good person who made some more obvious public mistakes.

Zach:

My two thoughts on the matter:

In his defense: His only 2 brushes with the law were a DUI for which his was acquitted (admittedly he was rich, and rich people do get off on things like this) and for (I think) having/brandishing a pistol then giving someone who stole several ATV's from him the beat down. Also, I think the lawyer is a friend of the family/spokesman type who knew Taylor growing up, not just an advocate during legal matters. So we maybe shouldn't discount what he says as much as if it were Johnny Cochran or Scott Boras.

In his not-defense:
What if this had gone the other way? What if Taylor got the drop on this guy, and split his head open with the machete? With his rep (deserved or otherwise) he'd be in questioning right now and we'd all be sure he was guilty as hell.

Elroy:

The obvious contradiction is having this quote about how wonderful of a person he is and then talking about his arrests. Why is it necessary to say he is great then talk about his arrest record?

Talk about how he is great, the incident, the family, and his death. Or talk about the incident, the family, his death, and his arrest record.

Your other points are noted. I'm not saying he is a bad guy. He may be a bad example for my point, but I think in general people are great as soon as they die. That is not the case. Terrible people die also.

ACOM:

I agree in principal to what you said, Taylor might not been as 'great' as his lawyer made him out to be....but then again what was his lawyer supposed to say: "My client went to THE U. Nuf said. He probably hung out with the wrong crowd and unfortunately got what was coming to him?" Maybe terrible people just don't deserve anything said about them.

Zach:

I don't think we'll ever know if he was a bad guy. I'm not even sure which is more important in the issue: whether the sum of his actions over his life are a net positive or negative, or the kind of guy he was trying to be shortly before and up to the time he died.

From all accounts (taken with a grain of salt b/c they are friends and family) he had been a changed man since having a kid ~18 months ago.

I'm sure we'll hear a all about it over the next few weeks. I guess the two knee-jerk reactions are to go with either "speak not ill of the dead" or "he was a thug whose actions finally caught up to him". The truth is probably somewhere in between.

Electronic Vagrant:

This one is tough. I guess I feel both ways about it. I'm sure he was a prick at times. I imagine all players from the U to be complete thuggish assholes, although the Rock must have been converted by the blessed fists of Chuck Norris because he's one ass kicking machine (have you seen The Rundown??). Nevertheless, I think its in our nature to remember the good times, so even though he spit in Michael Pittman's face (a notorious wife beater himself), we'll listen to his teammates and lawyer sing his praises.

I've done my share of stupid things, but I hope they don't end up defining me as a person. Leave that to the donuts and cereal.

Zach:

I heard a great comment from a caller on the radio this morning: "We're uncomfortable with being uncomfortable." So we have to make him a sainted martyr or a punk who got what was coming to him, instead of internalizing the unpleasant truth that yet another complex irreplaceable person was shot to death for (as yet) inscrutable reasons.