"Don't worry son, that's good growth for a boy your age"

Movember the 16th

Having passed the halfway point in my 30 day adventure, I feel prepared to offer some insight into the world of the mustachio'd man. I can't claim to be sporting the 'stache unironically, so perhaps my understanding of the lifestyle that comes with the moustache is in some way tainted. However, I believe I can supply a rough primer for those considering taking the plunge, be it for charitable or aesthetic [sic] reasons.

The first thing you need to know is that if you’re to grow a lip sweater of your own, you need to have thick skin underneath it. The high quality of one-liners I hear on a daily basis forces me to one of two conclusions: either I have extremely clever friends and coworkers; or it is just exceedingly easy to make fun of a moustache.

The other thing you need to understand is that a moustache is like a magnifying glass. They make awkward people seem more awkward, eccentric people more eccentric, drunk people more drunk. It's like a megaphone for your worldview/BAC. This applies to all styles (the Trucker, the Abracadabra...even the Business Man.) There are no subtle moustaches.

Lastly, I should tell you that moustaches are simply not appealing to women. It pretty much offends all five senses (don’t ask how this is possible.) So my initial aspirations for a stylish ‘stache are long gone, and you shouldn’t hold on to false hope either. There are no good looking moustaches. There are only degrees of bad.

So, my bald-lipped friends, you’ve been warned.

Fondly,
Mike

PS. Just a reminder…me and my moustache are raising money to fight prostate cancer. Go here to donate: DONATE TO MOVEMBER